My Impersonation of an Ewok

As ordered, here is the pic of me.  This was given to me by Sir Scott's boys. i look like an Ewok ;-P

Wicket, eat your heart out!!!

Another Lesson in Trust

 Recently, i was up in Toronto to spend time with the family.  Before going up, i tend to try to set up play dates or ask people if they wanted to spend time with me.  i have been told i do it too much.  So Sir decided to teach me a lesson this weekend.

Before going into what happened, i should go into why i do what i do in the first place.   There have been a lot of times in my life where people forgot my birthday or didn’t recognize a special day in my life.  Also, when visiting my parents or friends, they seem to be watching TV or doing other not socializing.... so i was feeling abandoned and not appreciated.

Sooo, when i go somewhere i set these ‘dates’ up so that i would not get bored, i felt like i was getting quality time with the people i want to.  However this does not allow the other person to initiate with me those types of “dates”. 

Sir ordered me not to set any of those up.  i told him i initiated some and told Sir what has happened ( including a play date outside the family).  He stated no more.

When i got up there, i felt odd not being able to ask if anyone wanted to do anything.  Sir arrived the next day.  He asked me to do his boots, and got to bootblack his boots as well as smells the interior of Sirs new work boots (SNORT)

We then went to the bar.... and during the night, everyone in the family started to do CBT on me.  Considering that i was on cum restriction for a few days already, my cock and balls were buzzing.

The next day, was competition and at night was another bar event.  There, had even more things happen to me.  Play with a Daddy, played as a pog With Sir, and gave a demonstration of a pavlovian response to a Muscle Sir. (remember i was still on restriction, i was leaking a lot!!!!)

Then on Sunday, there was a play party at Steamworks.   Last year i was afraid to go because i didn’t think anyone would play with me and afraid to be alone.   This year, there was something in me that wanted to go, even though i knew the possibility of failure was high.   i get there, and someone came up behind me, wrapped a towel around my neck and said “its good to see you here boy”  i didn’t know who it was, but my gut instinct told me it was Sir, so i responded appropriately “ thank you Sir”.  i walked around  a bit and saw someone i knew.   i got to blow him for a little bi before he had to go.   i then got to see Iain get played with.  When he came, i whimpered because i wanted some of his cum and it was being rubbed into him :-( *pout*    Sir told me to go find a cock to suck of someone i didn’t know.

so i stayed in the video room to see what i could find.  nothing happened, and i went to the whirlpool.  i was followed by someone i knew, so i was not allowed to blow him :D

i started walking around some more and didn’t see (or couldn’t see) anything that interested me.

i went back to the video room and saw Sir in Leathers getting serviced.  Sir ordered me over.  What happened next i was stunned.  i was played with by Sir and a Daddy.

SNORT, was hand bound and put underneath a rim chair, and was tickled and stomped wile rimming Sir and the Daddy.

FUCK THAT WAS HOT

After the weekend was done, Sir and i talked and was told to remember this weekend.  When i stop asking to do things, people will start to ask me instead!!!

This lesson was learned; however, this will be very hard me to do.  IT is a routine i must unlearn.

WOOOF, that was a fun weekend!!!!!!

Arrived in Canada

.... and pog got a christmas present   A CHEW TOY!!!!!!

pog with a chew toy

Seeking comfort in Sir when scared

Going to the Hospital is never fun, but gong alone when you have Heart Attack symptoms makes it a lot worse. That is what happened to me Monday.

TAKE CARE OF SIR’S PROPERTY is the number one rule in Master Chuck’s family.  On Monday, i was at work.   I have been dealing with asthma for the last couple of months but ha a pain in chest.  Then i did my checklist for Heart Attacks...

Pain in chest – yes

Pain in left arm – yes

Short of breath – yes

Nauseated – yes

Pulse – high/90bpm

With that in mind, and the rule of the family.... i decided to go to the hospital. 

They took me in quickly and did an EKG.  And took me to a room in the ER.  Wile waiting for the doctor, i got really REALLY scared and very lonely.  In the back of my mind, the image of Sir’s boots was in my head.  Normally, this relaxes me because i can imagine myself taking my pog snout and smelling the inside of the boot and relaxing very quickly.  However, the boots seem very far away, and i could not reach or smell them.  That didn’t help me calm down at all.  So got my phone out and texted a few people that i could.  i was then taken into the interior of the hospital in a Chest Pain waiting room.  I was told i would be there over night.

I was scared again, but was able to get on their network and chat with a few people, and was able to IM Master Chuck briefly and it calmed me down.

The next morning, i was taken to get a Nuclear Stress Test.  It was there i was scared again...and a bit pissed off.  The tech knew were i worked and complained about it the whole time.  Wile i was getting injected, my heart raced and got light headed...and thoroughly terrified because i was not sure what my body was doing and could not change it.  i was trying to think of Sirs boots again, but still felt far away from them.

Luckily and thankfully, my heart was fine, they suspect a few minor things, but wants me to follow threw with my PCP.

What does this have to do with Leather and being a sub???? glad you asked....

you see, i find myself either forgetting the boots when i am highly stressed, or when i do remember, the image of the boots seem ‘far away’..... so i found a pic...

Sir in His work boots

i changed the background of my phone to this pic....the boots that i see when i want to try to calm down.  What i am hoping that will happen is that the boots is a constant reminder of what being calm is....so that when i do get stressed, i can physically see Sirs boots, rather then seeing them in my head.   Also when i am scared or terrified, there is the boots that are more ‘concrete’ then what is in my head.

My question for you, for those in LD D/s relationships (even those who are being mentored like me).  Do you have anything like this?  If you’re scared what kind of things do you do to help get you out of that state?