Seeking comfort in Sir when scared

Going to the Hospital is never fun, but gong alone when you have Heart Attack symptoms makes it a lot worse. That is what happened to me Monday.

TAKE CARE OF SIR’S PROPERTY is the number one rule in Master Chuck’s family.  On Monday, i was at work.   I have been dealing with asthma for the last couple of months but ha a pain in chest.  Then i did my checklist for Heart Attacks...

Pain in chest – yes

Pain in left arm – yes

Short of breath – yes

Nauseated – yes

Pulse – high/90bpm

With that in mind, and the rule of the family.... i decided to go to the hospital. 

They took me in quickly and did an EKG.  And took me to a room in the ER.  Wile waiting for the doctor, i got really REALLY scared and very lonely.  In the back of my mind, the image of Sir’s boots was in my head.  Normally, this relaxes me because i can imagine myself taking my pog snout and smelling the inside of the boot and relaxing very quickly.  However, the boots seem very far away, and i could not reach or smell them.  That didn’t help me calm down at all.  So got my phone out and texted a few people that i could.  i was then taken into the interior of the hospital in a Chest Pain waiting room.  I was told i would be there over night.

I was scared again, but was able to get on their network and chat with a few people, and was able to IM Master Chuck briefly and it calmed me down.

The next morning, i was taken to get a Nuclear Stress Test.  It was there i was scared again...and a bit pissed off.  The tech knew were i worked and complained about it the whole time.  Wile i was getting injected, my heart raced and got light headed...and thoroughly terrified because i was not sure what my body was doing and could not change it.  i was trying to think of Sirs boots again, but still felt far away from them.

Luckily and thankfully, my heart was fine, they suspect a few minor things, but wants me to follow threw with my PCP.

What does this have to do with Leather and being a sub???? glad you asked....

you see, i find myself either forgetting the boots when i am highly stressed, or when i do remember, the image of the boots seem ‘far away’..... so i found a pic...

Sir in His work boots

i changed the background of my phone to this pic....the boots that i see when i want to try to calm down.  What i am hoping that will happen is that the boots is a constant reminder of what being calm is....so that when i do get stressed, i can physically see Sirs boots, rather then seeing them in my head.   Also when i am scared or terrified, there is the boots that are more ‘concrete’ then what is in my head.

My question for you, for those in LD D/s relationships (even those who are being mentored like me).  Do you have anything like this?  If you’re scared what kind of things do you do to help get you out of that state?