There is no place like Sir's boots!!!

Tonight, had a brief chat with Sir. Not very deep, a little playful.... but in the play He put out His Boots for pog to lay its face on.  This struck something very deep in me. 

Before i go into why, there is a little background history.

i am a VERY anxious sub.  i get nervous and neurotic trying to do everything right to be a good sub.  i also  get anxious before doing any of the workshops i have done, including the Bootblacking and Spirituality workshop.  Lately, when Sir senses that i am anxious, he puts his booted feet out.... and allows me to lie at His booted feet and just BE.  i do fly in this process. it calms me down significantly and able to handle what i have to do.

Now back to what happened tonight.  When Sir offered his booted feet, my head when immediately into that headspace and calmed down (even though i was not anxious)  What this means is that despite Sir and i are separated by 800 mi (or at least 1600km)  ... in that instant, i was at Sirs feet, calmed and grateful.

i need to remember this when i get anxious again.  Imagery and remembering past interactions with Sir helps really calm me down.  This also helps because at times i remember past actions i have done as a kind of flashback, and most of those are bad....but in this case the flashbacks are really REALLLY good.

SNORT BARK WAG

At Sir's booted feet, happy

Dear Leather Daddy Santa.....

Dear Leather Daddy Santa...

   i have been a very good boy this year!!!! And a good boy is always clean, inside and out....

 i hope you have seen it this past year. This boy would like to get a pair of Leather Search Gloves

i also know that the Dominants that i know like to partake in CBT, so this boy needs to stretch its balls more. this one would like to get some Oxballs Stretchers.

For pog, IT knows it would love to have as a chew toy, a stuffed pig....

Leather Daddy Santa, if i have been a really good boy.....boy would like to get a custom pair of these...

Leather Daddy Santa, i will admit that this one has not always been good.... and will accept any punishment You administer...... but Santa, i do have one request..... if allowed.... could i have some time at Master Chuck's booted feet please??????

Respectfully,

   boy/pog matt

pog tried to come out today!

i was on my way to a Big and Tall shop to pick up an order i had placed.  When i got there, i saw some Coleman workboots.  They actually had them my size, and i whimpered softly because i didn’t have time to try them on, or even  had the money if they did.

i left the store, and at a stoplight, the image and the smell of Master Chucks work boots came into my head.  i was snorting very loud and jerking my head, it was obvious that pog was trying to come out.  Unfortunately i was not in a safe place physically to allow it to happen... so forced myself to get back to reality. To my knowledge, this is the fastest pog tried to come out. i had a big smile as i drove back to work! 

A Pog is born.....

Tonight, i want to delve into the animalistic side of my submission. Hopefully this helps you understand me a bit better

When i was under Sir Iain and Sir Scott, i had these playful tendencies and pounced on them all the time.  It was then that they told me i had pup tendencies.   They named me Bowser. The name came from the villain in the Mario Brothers...... he was big and horny!!!!   (My family has a sick sense of humor and i love it)    i didn’t have a lot of training, and when i was decollared... the pup in me did not come out for a very long time.

At Master Chucks Feet

Another time at Master Chucks feet

During this time, i did a lot of thinking....and looked up at the night sky.  i instantly recognized Orion constellation.  I then saw Canis Major....the dog.  I fantasized that i would be in a relationship in which my Dom was Orion the hunter and i was his dog.  This fit my ideal Dom because a hunter tends to be masculine, strong physic, and strong mind....something that i desired.  As i pondered the constellations, i also realized that Orion was the first constellations that i ever found and consistently find.  Even to this day when i see Orion, i pause and take a deep, calming breath.

Fast-forward a few years with my times with Master Chuck and former Sir Iain.  When i spend time with them, they always turn my crank, from the leathers they wore, to the smells they produced, an even the Speedos they wore (yeah, you can blame me for the family fascination with Speedos).  Very soon, i started to Snort when i saw, heard, or smelled something that i found hot or erotic.  WALA, a pig is born.

Fast-forward even more to last night.  i was talking to Master Chuck online.  i was in a good mood.  Master Chuck and i were ‘flirting’ when a change started to happen.  As he talked more, i went from dog to pig in an instant.  Master Chuck stated that he thought i was more a pog then a dog.   A pog is a term He uses to describe a pig/dog combination...and in my case i can go back and forth easily.  However, this was not the only change that happened. 

As we talked further, i felt my mind go more animalistic and more submissive. To the point, my mind was all animal.  i felt as if i was “born” in a way, and in the pit of my stomach, i new something was right, but also anxious because IT did not know what to do.  The one thing IT did not want to do was to think.  IT was chatting with Master Chuck some more, and got its thoughts down quickly.  IT actually said to Master Chuck, that Sir could do anything to IT.  Sir wrote “ANYTHING??”  It was at this time that the duel nature of IT and boy matt co existed. IT wanted to say yes, boy matt needed to quantify this by stating that he trusted Sir to never harm IT.  Hurt,  yes... but never harm.  IT also wanted to call Sir ...Master.  However, the boy matt brain interjected and remembered Sir would never collar me.  The boy matt side started to take over.  After a few hours, IT was gone.

FUCK, i had a major moment.   and was pondering it for a wile. i felt so happy at that moment.  But not sure what will happen next or when IT will come out.

That moment, i learned something about myself.... i’m really a pog and looking forward to finding out more. about that.

On the way home from work tonight i was thinking about how i was going to write this, and realized that the Orion connection to all of this.  You see, it is probable that i may find my Hunter Orion since i am a pog, but there is also another dog or pog in my future. So the journey there is going to be very interesting.

Orion and his Dogs

Leather in 2012

This entry is not going to be a long on, just that i will be going to Eastern Canada Leather Sir/boy contest in Toronto with events Feb 17-19^th.

The website for more information is:

http://www.leathersircanada.com/

Hope to see you there!!!

Your Fucking Ugly too SIR!!!!!

i have to laugh at this now.  i know you may be shocked to hear that i have said this not only to my former Sirs but as well as to Master Chuck!  i can hear the audible gasp coming threw the Internet right now as you speak!!

what you don’t know is that it is actually an order that is given to me (and a few others) that if Master Chuck or others in the family called me “your ugly” i am to respond right back with "Your Fucking Ugly too...... Sir!" 

there is a method to Master Chucks madness ... *EG*

i always known it was to accept who i am , as well as knowing that i was good looking.  You see, as of right now, i call  myself Bigfootcub on various sights.  There is NOTHING about me that is small.... big belie, big head, very tall, big coc..... feet. :D

Being 500 lbs, 6’4, size 16-18 feet....there is nothing normal about me physically.  And for that reason, i felt really ugly.  What compounds it even more is that i stress eat...a lot!!  One point in my depression, i went to McDonalds and ordered 2 Supersized Big Mac meals. When i got home, i ate all of it..... and still felt hungry.

Tonight, something happened!!

i saw in the mirror someone good looking. And in a bit of a shock, realized it was me.... and for the first time, i never looked away... i kept looking....staring.  i noticed how my faced looked when i smiled. i notice the shape of my face, and that i was loosing weight in my face.  i was utterly amazed, and in the moment, i set a goal for myself.  This is a very personal goal for me, i am not even going to tell Master Chuck about this goal.  i want to do this for myself, and no one else.

i can’t wait till the next family member who tells me i am ugly.... EG

‘Tis the season!!!!

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