Decollaring

Very early in the AM this morning, i looked at my calendar and realized that today was an important day for me.  It was this day 6 years ago that i was decollared from my former Sirs.   Do i want to be collared, absolutely….. do i want to be collared by my former Sirs?  No.   They took me as far as they could in each of our Leather Paths.  Would i like to be Domed by them in a scene?  ABSOFUCKINGLUTLY!!!! TO be honest, one of them still Dom/teases me with his speedo and pec bounces…….. and with the other, we still cuddle and talk (though a good flogging wouldn’t hurt). 

i was talking to one of current sub of my former Sir, and admitted to him that i am happy to see him work with the Sir and taken him further on his Leather Path (yes…we subs can and should do this by our submission).  What he said next kind of shocked me…. “You got him started”.  After initially rejecting that claim….i actually thought about it and accepted it. i have taken them both along paths that were beneficial for them.

i currently have a Protector/Mentor who is a Master. He has taught me a lot about myself (and continues to do so.  i appreciate it.  i just wished i had the money to go see him more (was laid of last March and continue to look for a job)

So this takes me on what a collar means to me.  Initially it meant that i was wanted by someone, where the neediness in me was sedated.  Do i want a collar…. Yes.  But to be frank, i am not sure what it means to me now.  i have a relationship with my Protector/Mentor right now, and it is like i am collared to him right now (as in His expectations of me are exactly the same as if i was collared).  As long as i continue to grow, Sir will be there for me.  So really…. what is so different that a lock and chain would make???