Unexpected Affection

Surprising me is very hard to do, especially due to the way i grew up.  my mind is very logical and i usually can guess things.  i also have this uncanny knack of finding things out without really knowing it.

When i am surprised, it usually shocks me to the core, and it means a lot to me.

An example of this was when i turned 30.  i was not looking forward to it and i felt like i had not accomplished anything in my life, i had not achieved a primary relationship, and i was in a job that i hated.  

However my parents surprised me.  They had invited my extended bio family to my parent's house, and had a surprise birthday party for me! i could not believe that  they were there for me, and i had a good time. 

i also planned to see Sir Scott and Sir Iain on my birthday weekend.  Unfortunately, i was told Sir Iain was going to be away for a business trip that weekend.  Needless to say i was bummed, but happy i could get to Canada.  So i arrived on Friday and spent time with Sir Scott.  The next day around noon, we went to Northbound Leather.  As i was sitting down, Sir Scott told me to close my eyes.  i did and felt someone putting a cap on my head.  When i opened them, there was Sir Iain beaming.  Not only that, i was given my first piece of Earned Leather....a boy cap.  

After that, we went to O’Grady's, where i was  given my next birthday present - the start of my bootblack kit and lessons by black, boy joe, boy alex, cub, and BooBoo!!!! Ever since then, i learned to be a bootblack and a DAMN good one!!!!

At the end of my recent trip, someone i really respect and i find very hot said that i give good head.  i did a double take.  This person and i rarely play, and when we do, i feel he is doing it just to please me, and not out of his pleasure.  So this shocked me.  A few hours later, he kissed me.  Not just a peck on the cheek, not a quick peck on the lips.....but full on several minute French kiss.  WHIMPER.  In the span of two hours,  my world was rocked by these two instances. Not only was i was surprised, but was given validation of how he cares about me....and i still am blushing over this.

i do my best to let surprises happen, but if you truly surprise me, you make my day and rock my world!!!!

Toronto Leather Pride pt 1

i had a great time this past weekend.  Toronto used to have Church Street Fetish Fair in August, and Mr. Leather Toronto in November.  They now combined it for the TLP weekend.  There was some issues started with the BIA... but i believed everyone learned from it.

i arrived weds night. and a good time talking to Master Scott slave Kalen (btw he may be called a husky pup...but he really is a squirrel).  But it was late and went to bed.

Thursday, i woke up later and late in the afternoon, i headed Downtown to have dinner with a friend.  We went to have sushi, and had some new experiences.  i never had roe before (which tasted like living salt granules), had eel for the first time (wasn’t to thrilled on that), and salmon Dragon Rolls (YUM!!!!!!) and for the first time i was able to eat a whole meal with chopsticks.  We then spent some time together walking around and talking.

i headed to the tube, and got to Kipling and Master Scott picked me up and went to the Eagle for pup night and boot night.

At the Eagle, a guy i known from the last visit was hitting on me hard, and for the night i was serving him.  During the service, he kept saying it was hot having a 460 lbs boy serving him and giving him a blowjob!  it was a good night :D

We went home and went to bed.

Friday, woke up and did some errands. Iain arrived from Oregon, and a little later Master Chuck arrived and we went to eat. we came back and got ready for bed.  What surprised me is that Master Chuck wanted to sleep with me on his bed. He has an air mattress and being a big guy..i was really afraid of breaking the bed. Needless to say the bed did not break that night!!! However, i did not sleep well.

Saturday, was the start of TLP, and i will continue on that on my next blog entry... :D

The “WHY” shackles

During my week with Sir, we did do some play as well as serving Master Chuck.  One of the things that plagues me is my mind tends to spin, and during those times, my head starts to think... “WHY?”  Why me?  Why do i need to do this, etc...  Unfortunately, this affects not only my service to Sir, but it also affects my experience of service and the utter joy that play can bring.

So, during a play session, i just let go..... i say my thoughts of “WHY” as shackles and released them.   OMG!  i turned into hyper sensation bottom.... every experience i got was pure pleasure.  

This is just another example where i just need to relax and focus on the reason i am here in the moment rather then worry what will happen next.... otherwise i will miss out in an experiences i will never forget!

Daddy!

During my trip up to Master Chuck’s, i spent a lot of time in service.  Towards the end the need for affection was really strong. However, in my head, i thought i shouldn’t tell Sir this because it wasn’t my place to say this.  

Fortunately, Sir and i talked for a bit, and i asked for a hug.  When i did i broke down.  He asked me why i broke down.  i explained that my dad and i never had a great relationship, and there was no physical affection by him.... yet when i get affection by Sir, it meant that a Masculine figure in my life that is guiding me like a Father is being affectionate.

As i was talking to him, Sir was rubbing and grabbing the back of my neck.  The physical aspect of this is that like a dog.  The mother Dog would nibble the back of the pup’s neck to move them and to comfort them.

Since then, my view of my mentor (Master Chuck) is that not only as a Mentor but also as a Father Figure.  In the past year that i have been involved with Sir, i felt i have grown as a man.  Like a boy turning into a man should be.

This was also a great experience to learn that Dominant Men can have several roles.... Master, Daddy, Sir, Dog Trainer, Pig Slopper, etc.......  and i love that fact that in a Dom.

TLP Change in schedule

Just letting everyone know, my workshop was moved from Saterday to Sunday Aug 14th.

links to TLP and the workshops can be found here:


http://bootblackmatt.blogspot.com/2011/07/workshop-announcement.html

Soul searching...

   At the end of July, i had the privilege of being in Service to  Master Chuck (my mentor) for a week.  The main reason was to prepare His leathers for ILS/b competition, but also to spend time with him. 

  Sir warned me that He was going to be tough on me, and that is true... however in the week of service i found out something i didn’t consciously know about myself.

We had a chance to really talk during an 8hr drive, and had a lot of good topics to talk about, and one of the topics was His turn on when a boy is with Him when He enters the hotel room if the boy was left in the room.  In my head, i took note of it, but did not think it would come up at all. 

The next day, Master Chuck left the hotel for the day, wile i worked on His leathers.

 When i was done, i called him, and Sir said that he will be there soon, and i was to great him properly.

HOLY FUCK.... i was in a conundrum.  You see, i have a protocol in greeting Sir whenever i see him.  Yet, the proper hotel greeting crept in my mind.  For 30 min, i was in my head battling what i should do.  So when the time came, i made the decision.... i would do the proper hotel greeting.  i took a shower, got items ready and was properly dressed... (as in naked, except my boots).  Sir  surprised me, and as i saw him for a brief second, my mind went into deep submission.    When i saw Sir, in his cloths (which was VERY masculine) a little known fantasy (and fear)  of mine came out....  Humiliation, and i was Sir’s bitch houseboy.  And Sir used me as such.

In my life, i have been abused physically, verbally, and emotionally.  Humiliation as play i would never had though i would get into it due to my history.  But what this scene told me is that with the right Dom, humiliation is not only fun but also very powerful.  During this scene and a few sessions on the way back to Master Chucks home,  humiliation was very powerful to me in that i was able to be in deep submission and still feel cared for and the humiliation was not out to prove ones power over the other, but rather that i gave Sir that power to use over me. In this instance, Humiliation = Love.

i am still processing what has happened, and will be writing about it as i find the words for it.  Three things stand out that i will be talking about.  The WHY “shackles”.  What a Daddy means to me.  And Lastly, unexpected affections.

boy matt