Nothing Lasts Forever.... Including Smelly Socks!!!!

Nothing Lasts Forever.... Including Smelly Socks!!!!

i’ve been in a funk the last couple of weeks.  Work has been very stressful, which is causing me to stress eat and gain weight again.  Dealing with death of a friend and also a classmate from high school.  Also dealing with a death of a Speedo :-(  .

So a lot has been on my mind, and these thoughts stay in my head for a long time.  One of the things that does help me is Sir’s used socks!

The last couple of times i have seen Sir, he has given me socks that he has worn for several days to work, and the smell acts like poppers to me.  It calms me down and allows me to release some of the ‘bad’ energy that i have bottled up for a short time. 

Smelling Sir's Socks

These last pair, Sir had worn for a week and was really smelly, and you know what?  FUCK THEY SMELL GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

i was talking to Sir tonight, and realized the socks started to loose there smell because i was using them a lot (well ok, i also use them to jack off to as well, but that’s another story)

During the talk, Sir reminded me that nothing lasts forever and things do end.  i know this and to some point already know this.  i was thinking of how i wanted to be buried or even cremated.....and where these ashes may be scattered.

There is another part of me that also thinks that when something is done, it is done for good.  Life is a good example of this.  My grandma passed away this past Dec, a friend of mine passed away last year, and an acquaintance i known and admired passed away this past month.... but it goes beyond life. i am also afraid.....and terrified that i will never be collared again. 

Being collared means a lot to me, and he fear of never being collared again is always on my mind.  i know of this one Dom who has only been collared once, and is looking to find a Dom again...but having difficulty finding one.  i feel and fear that will happen to me....that either no one will want me, or Doms will see me as “used” goods.

i know if i am to be a better boy...or possibly a slave, i need to work on myself.  Mind and body are at the top of the lists! 

sigh

Nothing lasts forever, i know that.....but then again, i am looking forward to getting a fresh pair of used socks [and hopefully soon!]!!!

First Question...

First Question...

Hey everyone!  Well i got my first question...and it is a doozy!

Twinkies

or

Speedo?

Ok, this needs a bit of explaining.  Speedos already have been talked about in an earlier posting which you can go here. .

http://bootblackmatt.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-first-porn-and-fetish.html

However, Twinkies need a bit of explaining.

Here is Michigan, there is an HIV educator that also has a food fetish.  I got to meet him at the Detroit Eagle one night, and despite talking on Recon, we didn’t recognize each other.  That night, he was partaking his fetish of feeding people, and fed me some Zingers! WOOOF

When i was collared to Sir I, i had made him a birthday cake, and or some reason i cannot remember, he took a piece of cake, chewed it and then fed it to me.  It was not disgusting, in fact it was quite erotic because we were sharing an instant moment as Sir and boy with Sir I Dominating me threw food. 

After being decollared and some separation, i forgot about these things.

In Feb 2008, there was Leather Education weekend called DARK (Detroit Area Rough and Kinkfest) was both the educator and myself were teaching at.  The educator on Fri night fed me a Twinkie.  WOOOF!  The next day, my former Sirs came with me, and the educator had to leave, but in the moment, gave a box of Twinkies to me as a thank you.  Sir I took one of those Twinkies, took half into his mouth, came up to me, and fed the other half to me and started to kiss!  SNORT!!!!!

So that started the whole Twinkie thing......but doesn’t end there....

There was a weekend in Sudbury where Master C and his Leather Family got together to work on a renovating a house.  As a joke, i tried to find Twinkies at the market in Canada, but they are very hard to find.  Rather, they have snack cakes called Jos Louis.  So i got them.  When we got back, Iain and i reenacted what we did at DARK. Master C got an idea.... he opened up his pants, and stuck a Jos Louise on his cock, and asked me to clean him up, and not to get any on his pants.  Well i failed miserable (but had a great time) because it made a bigger mess then expected :P

[readjusting myself now]

Ok, now to the question at hand...

Speedos or Twinkies?

mmm....

thinking...

Damn it... i am selfish.....

I WANT A TWINKIE INSIDE OF A SPEEDO WITH A GUY IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok..i better get going, i am hungry now

Ask me anything...anytime

Ask me anything...anytime

Trying something new.... on the right hand side, you can see a space where you can ask me a question.  Feel free to ask me anything...anytime :D

Need to back up...

Need to back up...


Hey all! hope everyone is doing well. It is late April and they are STILL talking about getting snow over night....ugh!!!


Well i need to catch up a bit, a few weekends ago..... there was an event here in Detroit called Leather United. At this event, Leatherfolk got together and talked and had a good time in a non-bar setting. It was great to see people that i know there, and that for the first time, i talked for the majority of it. (for those of you who do not know me well, i am VERY shy and is difficult to talk to people) my former Sir was down for other reasons, and we went to the event together (and yes i talked MORE then he did :p )

Downstairs was a dungeon that was very well equipped including 3 fully stocked first – aid kits. There was also a leaning bed, where the sub can stand on the ledge and lean in toward the bed, and the Dom can do what he wants. For me this is a great device because it allows me to really let go when being whipped or flogged and not worry about falling down and injuring myself (because even if i am cuffed up, i am a very big person and still can hurt myself)

So all in all i had a great time, and hope i can help out the next time it happens!!!

                                                                      Iain and myself

THIS IS NEAT!


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My First Porn.... and Fetish

My First Porn.... and Fetish

i am having fun writing on this blog, and its funny that i remember some things in the past that explains who i am today!  One of the things many people do not know about me is that i have a major Speedo Fetish.  Ok, ok many people know about this (because i generally ask if they have a Speedo with in 5 min of a conversation :-D )

How it started, i believe was when i was in 1^st grade.  i went to a circus as part of a school class trip, and during the show, there was this Tarzan type character. He even wore a loincloth!  i just remembered being really excited seeing him (as in hyper) and when we talked as a class, i was gushing over him.   Never thought about it until later.

When i was in Jr. High, there was a fad going on and that was guys warring spandex shorts.  i remember seeing guys packages and seeing there cock and balls giggling and it looked like bowl full of Jell-O when it giggles :P  .  At the same time, i was starting to watch WWF wrestling. OMFG!!!!! seeing all those muscle guys in tight shorts being all grabby with each other, i was really turned on, and jacked off to it a lot!  The two that i had the biggest crush on was Hulk Hogan (with the yellow shorts and muscle posing) and Ravishing Rick Rude (who exudes sex and had a tight physique).  

When i got older, i was hanging out with someone, and it hit me that this person may look good in a Speedo, so i bought one for him and fuck was he hot in it!!!  Unfortunately, we did continue our friendship and lost track of him....but still had the Speedo.

When my former Sir came to visit, i asked him to try the Speedo on, i thought it would look hot on him.  When he put it on, fireworks sparked!  As the relationship progressed, i got him different colors of Speedos because i though he would look good in them.  He wore them at certain times to really get me going, and i appreciated it!

i even got Master C a very special Speedo for Christmas recently.  and he looked HOT in them!!!  The funny thing is, he and Iain went to a Speedo shop (without my knowledge) and both got a square cut Speedo suite.  HOLY FUCKING COW, SNORT< FUCK  GROAN!!!!....[sorry.... just need to readjust]  Those suits looked very hot on them.

So from Tarzan....to WWF....to Speedos, there is a direct line that shows where my fetish came from.  This could also be said of my muscle worship fetish, but there is more to it then just a simple line like the Speedo.  

Now, i have a fetish for spandex clothing that includes Speedos, Singlets, and UnderArmour type clothing.

Oh..... just so that you know, i flag spandex right ;-)

Intimacy of the BJ

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Books

Books

Usually experiencing something first hand is always the best way to learn something wither be a new technique, new philosophy, or a different way of getting someone off!  However, there are times when reading about them is a good way of introducing someone to these things so that the newbie has some starting points to start out with.

Leather is no different, and actually kind of better then the experience it self.  What i want to introduce are some great beginning books for those just starting in leather and their leather journey.

There are three books that i recommend, and i recommend them for both Dom/sub Top/bottom even though they may be indicative to the bottom/sub.

The first book i recommend is The New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton (ISBN-1890159352)  Here is the 1^st book in which even the Dom/Top would need to read even though it is geared for the other.  In this book, it teaches what being a bottom means and it also teaches someone new in fetish or Leather techniques and red flags in obtaining people to play with.  They emphasis recommendations of ones abilities as well as red flags to watch out for.   As a Dom or Top it teaches you to obtain references but also understand the fears that a someone new would have, and ways to address them.

The next one i would recommend is Carried Away: AN S/M Romance by David Stein.  (ISBN-1881943178)This one is more geared for those wanting to live a Leather Life and D/s.  It is in this book, it reflects what living in a real D/s relationship is like rather then the fantasy of porn.  This was the first book that was recommended to me after a scene that did not go well....but in hindsight, it actually was a good thing. 

The last one i recommend is Becoming a Slave by Jack Rinella (ISBN-0940267209).  This boo is great because it describes each D/s relationship is unique and not a ‘cookie cutter’ relationship.  It also goes into detail what being in a Master/slave relationship is like and the general tenants it gives as well as its rewards.   A Sir/boy or even Daddy/boy could read this as well and fit it into their lives. 

These are a lot of books on BDSM, Kink, Leather, and D/s out there, but i believe these are the main three that everyone should read to understand themselves and their roles.  i hope you get a chance to enjoy and learn from them!

Communication

Communication

Hey everyone, lately i have been very nostalgic and been talking about really great times i have had being collared as well as some recent events.  Tonight i want to talk about communication. 

One of the earliest things i had to learn was that the main thing in any D/s relationship is communicate, communicate, communicate!!!!  (Yes, it was ALWAYS told in threes..... but it also showed the importance of it).  This was the most prevalent when i was talking to my first Sir.

Sir invited me to a Leather Run, the first i ever been to.  i was very excited and looking forward to it.  Then a  few weeks later, Sir told me that He was bringing another boy.......  i was very pissed off..... so i hung up the phone on him.

GASP

yeah, i can hear you gasping and expecting the worse.... but let me explain a few things.  This relationship was my second relationship i ever had....also, i was SO new to leather (as in only months) that i was still learning what is appropriate in a Leather Relationship.  Lastly,  it pushed a major button of abandonment in me.

i calmed down a bit, and then started to shake..... i thought he was mad at me, but at the same time, i wanted to test Sir.... is He really interested in me....will He follow through?

Well.... i actually called him about 26 min later, and Sir and i had a good discussion.  Also was ordered to NEVER......EVER..... to hang up on Him again. 

As time went on in the relationship, i did get better in communication.

One thing i  am a proponent of is realization of different forms of communications.  i want you to think of different ways of communication.  Can you think of any?  How about forms of non-verbal communication?

TOUCH

Touch is one of my biggest forms of  accepting communication.  The touch of a Master’s hand on your face............. the kiss given freely by a Master.......... the grip on your hair (on head or beard) for an inspection or even a blowjob.   When you read the previous sentence, did you have any feelings or emotions as you read them?  i do, and it communicates to me...

Touch..... Compassion, affection, love

Kiss.... Eroticism,  affection,   ownership

Grab.... ownership,  submission,  being wanted

EYES

Ok, i am a fan of Tyra Banks, Americas Next Top Model.  One of the things she teaches the models is Smizing.....smiling with your eyes.  In the Leather world, what does your eyes to do when you see something erotic?  When you’re compassionate?  When you’re in complete submission/ Dominance?  Master C is one of the best examples i have seen when it comes to this.  i remember (that is when i look) when Sir shows Compassion, Happiness, and Mischievous.  i know he has an erotic look to his eyes, the thing is i have never seen it with me because either i am sucking on his cock, or my back is to him when he whipped me!!!! :D

In a relationship i was in, despite all the verbal communication we had, the one thing that was screaming in my head was “PLEASE JUST TOUCH ME!”  This was not just for play, but rather the reassurance a touch can give and the affection i needed. Ever since then, i have been a big proponent of multiple forms of communication especially non-verbal. The relationship i have with Master C, i am grateful to have this multi form communication style..... even if it is a Mentorship/Protectionship and not a collared one.

SO......what do you  think?  What other forms of communication do you use? 

Spirituality, Eroticism, and Protectionism

Spirituality, Eroticism, and Protectionism

It’s interesting things i find out about myself as i get older, and how things change.  One thing i find myself changing is the type of person i want to be with.  It started out likening the clones that i saw in porn in the early 90’s.  You know what i mean, they all tend to look alike.  It wasn’t until one night at a gay bowling night, someone suggested i look at bears, and to see what i though of them.  When i did, i was more attracted to them then the ones i saw on porn. Part of that was more likely because they were more Daddy to me.  Daddy in this case was a masculine nurturer then a sexual role.

As time went on, i was exploring more about the gay life and its sub cultures. And i came across Honcho the magazine.  This magazine is based on Kink and BDSM, and what really turned my crank were pics of hot hairy guys in leather (or naked) or well-built muscle guys.  The fiction as well as artwork by Tom of Finland as well as MATT, completely sent me over the edge .  i was fascinated and scared.

i went threw a period of having a partner and in that time, i realized i needed BDSM and Service in my life. So i went  threw looking for something else.  When i did, i found my first Sir, Sir Scott.  DAMN, i had a good time, and what made it better for me was that he was interested in wanting to see me again!!!!!  The next time i saw him, i was introduced to his partner, who later became my second Sir, Sir Iain.

The two of Them affected me in two different ways.  Sir Scott was the nurturing Dom that i needed, but also put me threw my paces when it came to flogging and whipping. And His Kiss was that of aggressive Dom that was protective.....and at that time, i felt it in my core.  Sir Iain on the other hand was different in that his kiss was pure eroticism....that also went into my core.

As time went on, it became clear that we needed to separate.....well it wasn’t clear, but it was needed.

i was hurting badly, and felt an emptiness and void in my life, and it looked like no one was able to fill that need.  When i did find someone that had the potential, it never came close to the experience that i had before......that feeling of being shaken to the core by a kiss.  It wasn’t until Mr. Leather Toronto 2008 when things got on track again.

i was chosen to give a workshop on Bootblacking and Spirituality.  When i gave it, i was incredibly nervous and wasn’t sure how things were going to go.  As i gave the workshop, i told the truth and gave my experiences of what it is like to be a spiritual bootblack.  When i was done, i looked up.....i saw everyone with tears in there eyes.  In the audience, Master C was in it, and he came up to me and asked me “Where is boy matt, and what did you do with him?”  .....  As we talked more, he said that my real “self” was being shown off rather then the shell that most people saw me in everyday life.

From that Day, Master C started to work with me to become a better person and took on the role of Mentor and Protector.  Since then we have seen each other in family events several time. And last October, i was able to have a 1-1 weekend with Master C.

Since that weekend, when Sir gently kisses me on the lips, it’s as if i was hit by lightning and being calmed down at the same time..... i being shaken to the core HARD!  It is really hard to describe the feeling, except that in that moment, everything is fine in the world.

As i think about what has happened to me, i realized what type of person best suits me as either a partner, a Dom, or both.  This person needs to understand Spirituality in Leather. That is what really turns my crank.  The person also needs to understand Eroticism....kissing a certain way, the way one moves or wares to turn the other person on (this includes a Speedo for me :p ) The last part is Protectionism.  The person needs to understand that leather is also about protection of property....of each other. 

i think those three things (Spirituality, Eroticism, Protectionism) represent  in physical form, what a collar means to me. i have not been collard in 3 years, and i miss having one....but i will not accept a collar just because of that void.

i am looking forward to exploring more about my needs and wants when it comes to D/s and BDSM. 

boy matt

ps: feel free to comment, i welcome any and all comments